


Fill the Void

by burntotears



Series: Newmas Drabble Prompts [5]
Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Scene, M/M, Spoilers, Suicide Attempt, The Death Cure Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:05:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burntotears/pseuds/burntotears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt has always seen himself in a way that no one else did - especially not Thomas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fill the Void

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted the word "Worthless" on tumblr. Also "Lets imagine it was thomas who found newt after he tried to kill himself. Newt feels lightly ashemed and super depresed, and Thomas just feels acceptance and sympathy. So yeah, super fluff"

“Don’t touch me!” Newt screamed, lashing out at Thomas violently, arms thrashing this way and that, spittle flying from his mouth. The venom was apparent behind his words even as he bled out next to the Doors, but Thomas ignored him and held fast, cradling his upper body on his lap while he tried to force Newt’s shoulders down.

“Someone get Clint here before he shucking bleeds to death!” Thomas yelled, snatching the nearest boy he could reach and directing him to hold pressure on Newt’s wound so he didn’t lose more blood than he could afford.

“Leave me ‘lone, Tommy! Stop it! How thick can ya get? Can’t ya see this is what I wanted?” Newt’s voice had gotten quieter, but the ferocity was still there. Thomas knew he had to keep him awake, but he hated hearing the things Newt was saying.

“I _won’t_ leave you alone, Newt. I’ll _never_ leave you alone. You’re my best friend and I love you.” Thomas made sure he was looking into Newt’s face and not at the mangled mess that was his leg. He didn’t need to bring Newt’s attention around to that.

“No. No you don’t. You _can’t_ love me, Tommy, that’s the whole shuckin’ point!” Newt’s hands were gripping at Thomas’ forearms like he was the only thing keeping him anchored to the earth. He pleaded with Thomas through his voice and eyes, continually growing more quiet until Thomas was mere inches away from his face just so he could understand what Newt was saying through the din of the other boys working on his leg. “I’m nothing. I’m useless. I’m bloody worthless — there’s not a single part of me that has ever been of any use to anyone here and yet I kept _wantin’_ and _wantin’_ from ya, not deservin’ a buggin’ thing from ya but always beggin’ it off ya anyway. Always weighin’ ya down... no more, Tommy.”

Thomas leaned the inch or so more it took to reach Newt’s face and pressed a warm kiss against his friend’s forehead. Every word from the blond was tearing into his heart, making him feel like he hadn’t done enough to show Newt exactly how important and essential he was here, though he knew that Newt wasn’t trying to guilt-trip him. That didn’t clear the guilt from his gut, though, nor did it tell him what he should say to make his best friend feel the weight of his presence like the other gladers did. He had no idea how to tell Newt that, but he had to try.

As he looked down into Newt’s surprised face, eyes blinking up at him when he’d pulled back, Thomas smiled affectionately at his friend. Warm water droplets started to land on Newt’s face and for a moment Thomas thought he’d started to cry, but soon a steady rain had begun to fall around them, a glader quick to cover the two of them to keep Newt’s wound clear while the others were tending to it. They listened to the rain fall around them and it seemed like the noise of the other boys washed away with the current of the falling raindrops, leaving Newt and Thomas as the only two people in the world.

“Newt,” Thomas said quietly, somehow knowing that he could hear him just fine. “I know you see things differently than us, but I promise I can prove it to you; I can prove to you that every word I say about you is true, if you just give me the chance. I don’t deserve it, I know I don’t, I haven’t been a good friend to you—”

“Tommy—”

“But Newt, you have no idea how much we rely on you, how much you mean to us — every single one of us here. You say that you weigh us down, but you do the exact opposite; you lift all of us up, you keep us moving, you keep us fighting another day when we would’ve given up if left to our own devices. You’re the cornerstone of this glade; you keep everyone centered and calm and _hopeful_ so that when things look grim, we know we’ll be alright as long as we have each other.”

Thomas pressed another kiss to Newt’s forehead, then he kissed his friend’s brow and cheek and whatever he could reach within the stretch of his spine. Newt’s hands tightened on Thomas’ arms minimally. “It’s not a burden, it’s not a debt. We don’t help each other because we’re expecting something in return, we do it because we’re friends, because we _want_ to, because taking care of each other out here _matters_. We _all_ matter, Newt. _You_ matter. You matter to all of us. Especially to me. I’m sorry for not telling you or showing you properly, but I swear I’ll do a better job if you just give me another chance—”

“Tommy, what… what’re you even… why’re you begging _me_ for a second chance when I’m the one that’s been a shuck fool?” Now it looked like Newt’s eyes were wet, but Thomas wouldn’t say anything.

He shook his head, smiling happily as he pressed their foreheads together. “You haven’t been, not at all. You’re only foolish when you try to make jokes; all your jokes are terrible,” Thomas teased, grinning far too wide when Newt actually laughed in response.

Thomas couldn’t imagine the glade without that laugh filling the void.


End file.
